| MoHsiN'z HoMe
aBouT mE
FaVoriTe LinX
FoToZ(GeNraL)
WhaT's NeW
GuEsT Buk
DonT ConTacT mE
ArTicLeZ 'n PiX 1
ArTicLeZ 'n PiX 2
ArTicLeZ 'n PiX 3
FoToZ(HuMoRoUs)
ArTicLeZ 'n PiX 4
FoToZ(aNiMaTeD)
FoToZ(MaX)
FoToZ(4_KiDzZ)
FoToZ(4_TeeN AgErZ)
CaTaLoG_4_YoU
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POEM
Most romantic first line..... And
Most unromantic second..
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
After you, my love, my only prize
Would be a bullet between my eyes
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you're not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
Every time I see your face
I wish I were in outer space
I saw your face as you walked by
but then I saw a better guy
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you I screwed up my life
Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If it's true, I'd prefer you inside out.
I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming
My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.........
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Intelligent Quotes
I was born intelligent-education ruined me.
Practice makes perfect...
But nobody's perfect...
so why practice?
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you here
them speak
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Money is not everything
There's Mastercard & Visa
One should love animals
They are so tasty
Save water
Shower with your girl friend
Love the neighbour
But don't get caught
Behind every successful man, there is
a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man,
there are two
Every man should marry
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life
The wise never marry
and when they marry they become
otherwise
Success is a relative term
It brings so many relatives
Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today
Love is photogenic
It needs darkness to develop
Children in backseats cause accidents
Accidents in backseats cause children
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
There should be better way to start a
day
Than waking up every morning
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk!
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours!
God made relatives -
Thank God we can choose our friends
When two's company,
three's the result!
If father is a poor man,
it is your fate, but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity
The more you learn, the more your
know,
The more you know, the more your
forget,
The more you forget, the less you know
So, why learn
A station is where a bus stops,
A train station is where train stops,
On my desk, I have a work station...
What more can I say...
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Wise Words
EACH MOMENTHAS ITS OWN BEAUTY.....
A PICYURE WHICH WAS NEVER SEEN BEFORE
&
WHICH SHALL NEVER BE SEEN AGAIN
sometimes our dreams come true,but in the WRONG way.
beware of what you want,coz you might get it.
dont be unhappy if you dreams dont come true,just be thankful that your night mares dont.
the pessimist might be right in thr long run,but the optimist has a better time during the trip.
the greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
to handle yourself use your head,
to handle others,use your HEART.
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LIFE STYLE
as life gets your remand
from the clutches of birth
the one thing it demands
is obedience of its cues
you must pay your dues
a drop of smile
costs a flood of tears
a moment's sunshine,
pays a life time of blues!
Give Me My Money!
A realty salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water.
"That customer is going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his manager. "Should I give him his money back?"
"Money back?" roared the manager... "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat!"
Reality,...!
Late one night in Washington, DC, a mugger jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me all your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the thief, "give me MY money!"
This is an actual bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board.
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground-and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.
New version of Wife
Letter to Technical Suport
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I cannot seem to keep wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program.
Can you please help me !!!???
Thanks,
A TROUBLED USER
Reply from technical Support
Dear TROUBLED USER,
This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by it's creator to run everything.
It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.
Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings- Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.
I suggest installing background application program C:YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of Luck,
Tech Support.
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